Fathers and Daughters

 From the book: I Got Your Back. Eddie, and later Gerald, Levert talk about the importance of fathers being there for their children. 

"A young girl's first connection to men is with her father, and she learns from her father how a man should treat her. If that scared union is broken or non-existent, then that young girl can be set up for one unhealthy relationships after the other. "

"...always searching for the father figure."

I would think my first connection to men would have been with my three older brothers. 

I was terrified of my father. I think he adored his first daughter, and probably the second one. Then three sons, and I was born. Probably did not have time to pay attention to me specifically. He somewhat doted on the next daughter. Then two more sons.

I saw him whip my older brothers with his belt. He was always yelling, although I no longer remember exactly what riled him. I was three months old when we went to Cape Cod to visit my mother's brother. I would not stop crying, so Dad stopped at a doctor's house. Mom never told me if the doc got me to stop crying.

The next morning they left for home. I think that is why my mother did not like me that much; deprived her of visit with her brother? Dad being so upset with my crying. Too bad I did not think to ask for more details of that oft' repeated story.

I guess I learned from dad that women deferred to men. Father rules, mom obeys. A women should not expect much attention from her man. Extreme, unfounded jealousy is normal male behavior? If a gal wants something done, she needs to do it herself? 

My brothers' drank a lot of alcoholic beverages, so I was not too concerned about my future hubby's drinking. I liked to drink also. I would not go out with him due to heroin use, having seen the trouble it got a brother into. I was too young, navie, to recognize the liar that would cause my life to be hell on earth for 13 years.

He claimed he did not mess with that stuff anymore. Oh, well...